I'm tired of looking at the long entry of last time and I'm really bored so I will make a new post. I feel weird saying I'm bored. I'm never bored, I'm easily entertained. And right now I have so much I can do but I feel kind of sick and I can't stay focused, I don't feel good. Is this a cold? I don't want to lay down because I have a lot to do tonight once Greg gets back, and I won't feel so nice if I nap. Naps make me feel worse! Is it like that for anyone else?

Lately I feel a little more determined. I used to spit out creative work really fast when I was in high school. But then I lost a lot of creativity and drive to draw and create in general in an unhappy period before and after Ringling, which may have little to do with my schooling. Because of this legendary dry period I talk about so much, some of my old dreams seem largely unattainable now. Especially since I sort of hate drawing now. But I want to like it again and get my skills back. I have figured out that I must do different kinds of work. Gregory has given me tasks and I think he knows he must do this, too.

Even with my own perceived lack of skill I have suddenly found myself doing art for games. Gregory does some programming work and wants to make his own game (just like many, many young people do). He has some prototype material and I will do some art for it to help develop it. This will be our thing. But he is working on a project with a group as well and I just contributed some minor graphics stuff to it. The group was trying to submit their game to a contest and had to rush some stuff at the end. We have had a lot of sleepless nights, life has largely been on hold. With his work, school and this project, there has been little time for even grocery shopping!! We are getting a taste of what life will be like when he's being paid to make games. Terrible, but hopefully worth it. I've been trying to be very supportive in any aspect I can be. And that includes doing modifications to art made by other group members when needed or making my own graphics for levels. I have no design sense so it's been hard, but refreshing, too, to have an artistic project for something other than just my own fun. My work for it isn't great at all, but the group seems pleased. It will be the first thing of this sort for almost all of the small group. It's hard to define who is considered in the group. I don't count myself as a member, I just contribute. There are professionals who advise, too. We'll probably get credited, though. The result work is still somewhat humble so far, but I'm still impressed. And that programmers, business minded people, graphics people, musicians were gathered together for it is amazing to me. While the projects won't always be to the tastes of Gregory and I, it is cool to contribute to something. Hopefully it will help us all a little!